Do you go month to month, year to year, repeating the same mantra about men? It leaves your mouth in various forms, but you’ve got only one point: to release yourself from any responsibility and to keep you safe and snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug without the worry of that pesky intimacy thing.
There are no good men out there. I’m better off without a man. I don’t want any man who isn’t willing to accept me exactly as I am. All the men my age are old fuddy-duddies, and the younger ones won’t want me.” Blah, blah, blah.
Okay ladies…I’m here to say once again: Just Stop It!
I know I’ve written about this before, and if you’ve read my ebook or blog, taken my Man-o-Meter test, or received my my coaching, you know that I understand how hard this is to overcome. I lived it.
As a smart woman told me last night: it’s scary out there.
Yup. It is. Putting yourself out there is scary. Hoping for something really big is scary. Openly searching for the love and acceptance of others is scary.
I may not have this particular fear anymore — I’ve found the love of my life — but I certainly have others like it. Take this blog for example. My mantra for the longest time was “No one will ever read my blog, and if they do why would they be interested in what I have to say?” That kept me from starting for many months; and still keeps me from writing at times.
I’m convinced that this stuff we get stuck in our heads is simply about self protection. I’m also convinced that playing it safe is just not worth it; and that trying — just the act of trying — gives us the confidence and pride we need to propel us forward.
If I had played it safe, I’d be single and working in a corporate job that was sucking the life out of me. Instead, I spend every day of my life with a good man that I love with everything I have, and I’m given the gift of being able to help women improve their lives.
When we hold back out of fear, we give up so much. We risk missing moments of our lives that can create such extraordinary joy, and give us such a feeling of purpose and meaning. When we go for it, our experiences can go beyond anything we’ve ever dreamed of.
So I’m going to stay strong and positive and keep putting myself out here, hoping you love and accept me. And, missy, I expect you to do the same…with men.
Gotta go. Be good to yourself.
Read my new ebook Finding Meaningful Love After 40 to learn how to joyfully look for, and find, the man you dream of and deserve….JUST by being yourself! Pssst…I think you’ll find that it’s not so hard…you have many of the tools already.
